ReFur Posted March 6, 2006 Share Posted March 6, 2006 To my furry family, A few of you know that in the last 18 months I have buried 5 friends. Many way too young and way too good to die. I received a phone call on Friday that my Mother was being taken to the hospital. She has been in a nursing home and going down hill. So, it is all for the best. Right? I spent most of the weekend just doing no brainer things that all needed to be done. I even spent a few very enjoyable hours on The Den. Bob, my husband, was a sweetheart and ran the shop without me. Well, today I received the call they have turned her end-of-life care over to Hospice. For those outside USA this is a group of health care professional who must be Angels. They help the patient and their families through the very last days. Needless to say my family is devastated. Saying good-bye is so hard. It is funny, I can remember so clearly when my Mother received that call about her Mother. It doesn't seem it was that long ago. In a few days I will be driving home to help my family take care of my Mother during her last days. I started to say that I didn't feel anything and to not worry about me and that I think I am just numb. Isn't it funny how I can share this with this wonderful group and start to finally cry. When Bob is around I just am pragmatic and say it is for the best. I think I just don't want to burden him. Plus on the internet, the pain seems more controllable. If you breakdown no one knows. If you say something wrong you can go back and edit. You can post a smiley face and no one knows you are crying. Life is so strange. Instead of calling one of many friends, I decided to type a note to you folks. I knew you would understand. I knew you would be there. Linda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrBrGr Posted March 6, 2006 Share Posted March 6, 2006 We love you, you wonderful lady, and we feel for you and cry for you right now. Please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. Nothing that any of us can say will diminish your pain or sorrow. Just know that we are near. Thank you for being our friend . . . Soft and warm thoughts, B~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Linda; Hugs and support. I had to put my mom in a nursing home almost two years ago now. She's 95 so I know how you feel. Never knew my Grandma. She died before I was born. It'll take her a few months at least to adjust. My mom has reduced her complaints but not quit. The best for you and your mom. OFF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReFur Posted March 7, 2006 Author Share Posted March 7, 2006 Yes, OFF putting a parent in a nursing home is a very hard thing to do. It was for our family as well. But, in this case, what I meant was my Mother only has a few days to live. Linda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 My thoughts are with you and your family Linda. I lost both parents a long time ago. It's a long healing; but eventually you start to remember them with a smile and not a tear. I hope her last days are comfortable and if she passes, she does so peacefully. My grandmother went into a nursing home for the same as she was beyond our care. She was still there six months later and eventually she came home and lived another ten years okay...so where theres life theres hope. She was wrongly diagnosed as having kidney failure and they assumed all of her organs were packing up. We will all be thinking of you....I have only been here a short time but it is indeed like a family. You said you feel numb; this is normal. The mistake then that many make is to dam it up because it begins to become habit, the numbness. Don't. Its better to release your grief sooner as otherwise you will be crying for apparently no reason in a years time and realise you have been an emotional zombie for that time. Its practical, but not healthy. You have a damn good cry girl. Shame you cant hug by email. Best regards TOS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Linda; I'm very sorry. Must have skipped over that. That's what happened to my dad 20 years ago now. Bldder cancer. Still think of him. OFF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wallee Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Linda, I'm so very sorry to hear that. This hug is from us to you. Our hearts are with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fox Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 My condolences Linda. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AKcoyote Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Linda, My condolences. I think FrBrGr very eloquently stated the feelings of all the admins in this matter. Furry regards, AKcoyote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Fox Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Linda: In less than a year you have become a very loved and respected member of this site. And I am so glad to be able to consider you and Bob to be among my best of friends. I will indeed be thinking of you as will so many other members here. Our hearts are with you! W Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Worker 11811 Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 ReFur (Linda): Please do me a huge favor. Tell your mother that you love her while you still have a chance! I never had the chance to tell my father I loved him before he died. There were some issues between us that I never got to resolve with him. I have carried that guilt around with me for almost 21 years. Even if you have issues with your mother, just put them aside and say those three little words. I didn't. It's been like acid running through my veins, eating away at my heart ever since. I'm very sorry for your loss. Although, it's impossible for me to know how you feel, I can relate to your grief. I pray that your mother passes on peacefully. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minkme Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Sorry to hear about your Mom. Hang in there. mm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PokerAce Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Hi Linda I'm very sorry about your mom. I hope you will find some comfort it the thought that she will not suffer soon. Sending you a big hug. PokerAce Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Dear Linda You will see how your posting has touched us all, and it is only now that we on this side of the pond are coming to read it and share your sorrow. These many responses show what a close family we are, and how closely we have been drawn to you in a few short months by your warm welcome as a furrier and friend to all who love furs. I hope you find some comfort in all the words of sympathy and affection that are now pouring in for you, just as we are honoured that you should feel us to be so close to you that you come to share your sadness with us. It is such a shame that geography dictates that few of us will ever meet you in person. At times like this, words do not come easily, but it would be nice to feel that a silent affectionate hug may cross the Atlantic on the net. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pluto Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Linda, my heart's with you and your family. Boris aka Pluto Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReFur Posted March 7, 2006 Author Share Posted March 7, 2006 Thanks everyone. I appreciate all of your posts. You are all such a wonderful group. What a lucky day for me when I decided to check out the strange high volume hits coming from some unknown site (Melody). How could I ever have known that my life would be forever transformed. I am blessed to have you. Thank you for being there. Linda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Dear Linda, this is a hard way to walk. Please take all possible time to go it, it will be good for you and your mother. And have in mind that our thoughts are with you. Yours, Joe Al Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earendil Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Our dearest Linda I am so sorry for your loss.. Know that you will always have us to lean on for support, and don't hesitate if you need to vent or just talk. I know how much this hurts, and I want you to know that all my thoughts and emotions will be sent your way the following week. Such a natural thing, the brother of birth.. Yet so painful Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foxy Lady Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Linda, I am so sorry to hear of your trying times. And that is exactly what they are. I lost my father 7 years ago, I know the emotional roller coaster you are on. I can also feel for you in regards to hiding your feelings, I did the same thing and felt as if I needed that barrier too, but you need somewhere to turn. You can turn to us. There are a lot of people here who think the world of you, and you know if you ever need any of us we will always be there for you. -Kristy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Fox Posted March 12, 2006 Share Posted March 12, 2006 I just thought that some of you would like to know that Linda lost her Mom earlier tonight. Linda I am sure that all of us here are thinking of you right now in this difficult time for You, Bob, your Father, and all of your Family. Folks, she has mentioned to me more than once how much that she appreciated your comments on this thread. White Fox Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 12, 2006 Share Posted March 12, 2006 Linda; My condolances. OFF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PokerAce Posted March 12, 2006 Share Posted March 12, 2006 Linda My condolences, she is not suffering any more.... PokerAce Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Worker 11811 Posted March 12, 2006 Share Posted March 12, 2006 INSCRIPTION On a Sun-Dial With warning hand I mark Time's rapid flight From life's glad morning to its solemn night; Yet, through the dear God's love, I also show There's Light above me by the Shade below. -- John Greenleaf Whittier. Requiescat In Pace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReFur Posted March 12, 2006 Author Share Posted March 12, 2006 Thank you everyone for all your kind words. Even when we know it is time to let our loved ones pass. It is so sad. Linda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Velvet_Tigress Posted March 12, 2006 Share Posted March 12, 2006 Linda, I am very sorry for your loss. Many years back, I lost my Brother very suddenly. One night he was there, joking around, being himself and the next night he was gone. While we were trying to cope with his loss, my Grandfather, who like your Mother was also in a nursing home, also passed away after a long illness. Neither death was easy, and the death that we had steeled ourselves for and knew was coming turned out to be no easier than the surprise death. Being sad is a part of the process, but keeping their memory alive can sometimes help cope with the shock of it all. No amount of crying proved to be too much for me or my family, either. It really helped. So did counseling, from our funeral home. While it need not be said, you've got a whole nother' family here at the Fur Den. Since I've joined, I've seen you soothe and entertain us, make us smile (and occasionally grump), and although I have only rarely said anything directly towards you it's still apparent to me that all those people who you've become so much more than a name and face to in the boards can and will do anything they can to help you through your trying times. Be well, Linda and again my condolences to you and yours. Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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