ReFur Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 Jesus was watching the gates for St. Peter. Anyway, Jesus is giving him a hand one day when a man walks shuffling up the path to Heaven. "What have you done to enter the kingdom of Heaven?" Jesus asks him. "And the man says, Well, not much really. I'm just a poor carpenter who led a quiet life. The only remarkable thing about my life was my son." "Your son?" Jesus asks, getting interested. "Yes, he was quite a son, ' the man says. 'He went through a most unusual birth and later a great transformation. He also became quite well-known throughout the world and is still loved by many today." Christ looks at the man, embraces him tightly, and says "Father, Father!" And the old man hugs him back and says, "Pinnochio?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DodgeByPetty43 Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 Jesus was watching the gates for St. Peter. Anyway, Jesus is giving him a hand one day when a man walks shuffling up the path to Heaven. "What have you done to enter the kingdom of Heaven?" Jesus asks him. "And the man says, Well, not much really. I'm just a poor carpenter who led a quiet life. The only remarkable thing about my life was my son." "Your son?" Jesus asks, getting interested. "Yes, he was quite a son, ' the man says. 'He went through a most unusual birth and later a great transformation. He also became quite well-known throughout the world and is still loved by many today." Christ looks at the man, embraces him tightly, and says "Father, Father!" And the old man hugs him back and says, "Pinnochio?" that is one to share with the church,keep those jokes comin Linda,theyre quite funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReFur Posted October 18, 2006 Author Share Posted October 18, 2006 I can't take credit for them. I have great friends. I pass along their best email jokes. I have two videos that I want to share too but don't know how to do it without it being a big hassel. I'll have to find out. Linda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Worker 11811 Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 A priest and a rabbi are the best of friends but they are always in competition with each other. The rabbi's congregation buys him a $400,000 home, so the priest's congregation buys him a $500,000 home. It finally comes down to cars. The rabbi's congregation buys him a $75,000 car, and the priest's congregation buys him a $100,000 car. But then, the priest thinks that he is going to have the ultimate one-upsmanship, and procedes to baptize his car. The rabbi witnesses this act, stops and thinks a minute, goes to his toolshed, gets a tinsnip, and procedes to cut 6 inches off his car's tailpipe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReFur Posted October 20, 2006 Author Share Posted October 20, 2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Worker 11811 Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 A businessman walks into a tough redneck bar. He sits down and orders a Corona with a lime. The bartender rolls his eyes and says with a gruff voice, "This is a MAN's bar. We don't serve wussy beers." He shoves a bottle across the bar to the man. "Here, you drink BUDWEISER!" The guy shrugs his shoulders and takes what the bartender gives him. A few minutes later the guy rolls up his shirt sleve and starts talking into his wristwatch. The bartender walks over. He says, "Hey BUDDY! I was serious! You can't go 'round pulling stunts like that in a place like this! Guys like these will beat the crap out of you!" The man shows him the wristwatch and says, "No, No! This is the latest style of cellular phone! See! I'm just calling my stock broker." The bartender grumbles and says, "Well, okay. But you'd better keep it quiet." The man finishes his beer then asks for directions to the men's room. The bartender grunts as he points the way. The man pays his tab, leaves a big tip and makes his way to the restroom. He's gone for almost a half hour before the bartender starts to get worried. The bartender goes to the head to check on the guy. He is shocked to see the man squatting in the corner with his pants hanging down around his ankles with a roll of toilet paper hanging from his a$$! "Oh my GOD! What the hell happened?! I TOLD you there'd be trouble if you didn't lay low!" The man looks up and says, "No! Nothing of the kind!..." I'm just waiting for a FAX! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LordTheNightKnight Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Is this a joke?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReFur Posted February 1, 2007 Author Share Posted February 1, 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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