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FUR JOKES


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There is a wolf , a lynx, and a chicken in a pub having a drink, after work,and as many who drink, their minds turn to boasting in front of the foxy vixens strutting their stuff near the bar.

 

The wolf says: "well I can't complain, everybody loves me for my thick,

furry coat" he licks it, raising his sparkling slitted yellow eyes to the vixens who stare back in awe and giggle fits. "but when I howl at the moon, still I am king of the forest".

 

"well you may have a point" says Lynx, he too licking his thick soft underbelly and then pawing over his long ears, looking up only to wink at the young , fluffy bright vixens, desperately trying to impress the handsome boy, lighting cigarettes and getting up on their stilleto like white hocks and parading in front of him, red fur puffed. " Everyone loves my fur even more...just look at the prices next to wolf...but at least, when I purr, as I am the only big cat who does so, the whole forest knows I am around and the boss. I have respect even from man. And when my cousin the Lion roars, the whole jungle shakes. Surely, the cats are the masters".

 

Thats nothing says the chicken, picking at the three feathers and scabs he has left at the end of his shift at the battery farm. "When I sneeze, the whole world shits itself"

 

 

 

 

A profound eco joke I think. And many a true word spoken in jest.....

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I'm stealing a joke from a friend who stole it from the internet, so far as I know.

 

A man and his date walk into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier after having eaten a very expensive lunch at one of Beverly Hills most exclusive restaurants. "Show the lady your finest mink!" the fellow exclaims.

 

So the owner of the shop goes in back and comes out with an absolutely gorgeous full-length coat. As the lady tries it on, the furrier sidles up to the guy and discreetly whispers, "Ah, sir, that particular fur goes for $65,000."

 

"No problem! I'll write you a check!"

 

"Very good, sir." says the shop owner. "Today is Saturday. You may come by on Monday to pick it up, after the check has cleared the bank."

 

So the man and the woman leave. On Monday, the fellow returns. The store owner is outraged: "How dare you show your face in here?! There wasn't a single penny in your checking account!!"

 

"I just had to come by," grinned the guy, "to thank you for the most wonderful weekend of my life!"

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I'm stealing a joke from a friend who stole it from the internet, so far as I know.

 

A man and his date walk into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier after having eaten a very expensive lunch at one of Beverly Hills most exclusive restaurants. "Show the lady your finest mink!" the fellow exclaims.

 

So the owner of the shop goes in back and comes out with an absolutely gorgeous full-length coat. As the lady tries it on, the furrier sidles up to the guy and discreetly whispers, "Ah, sir, that particular fur goes for $65,000."

 

"No problem! I'll write you a check!"

 

"Very good, sir." says the shop owner. "Today is Saturday. You may come by on Monday to pick it up, after the check has cleared the bank."

 

So the man and the woman leave. On Monday, the fellow returns. The store owner is outraged: "How dare you show your face in here?! There wasn't a single penny in your checking account!!"

 

"I just had to come by," grinned the guy, "to thank you for the most wonderful weekend of my life!"

 

Why does this sound like something I'd try and pull?

 

Unclejoe

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Modified old fur joke. Originally a Yiddish accent.

 

Middle aged couple who still have a lively sex life.

 

Guy comes home from work and is wandering around the house looking for his wife. Not an unusual thing for her to play-hide-and-seek.

 

"Honey .. honey .. where are you." he keeps calling throughout the house.

 

"I'm hiding." a muffled voice finally repies.

 

"Come on dear I have a present for you. Where are you?"

 

"What kind of present?" a muffled voice asks.

 

"I have a new mink coat for you."

 

"I'm hiding in the Hall closet!"

 

OFF

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*laughs* I'm in the hall closet. Classic.

 

A young girl sees a woman in a beautiful full length fox coat, and finds she can't keep her mouth shut about it.

 

She stomps angrily over, waves her finger at the woman and asks, "Do you know poor animals had to suffer to get that coat you're wearing?"

 

The woman frowns and retorts, "That's NO way to talk about my husband!"

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