Fur fetish question

[ReFur]

I have a question that has come to mind as I try to understand what many members mean when they say they are a fetishist.

 

I see fur as sensual and erotic. But, the fur is not an end itself.

 

Please don't take this as any kind of a put down. I really want to understand. And, I really don't want answers in great detail.

 

I would really appreciate your thoughts. So here is my question:

 

How does this differ from being asexual with the fur as a stimulant?

 

Linda

Edited November 19, 2006 by Guest

[votanodin]

I think fur is a great stimulant but it is not a sine qua non for me.

 

Votanodin

[FurLoverinFL]

I'm sure that the vast majority of people who wear fur view it as sensual. Some undoubtedly view it as erotic. For some of us however, our first sexual experience may have included contact with furs and may have resulted in a lifetime passion/obsession... Not that anything like that would have ever happened to me!!!

 

FLinFL

[Francoise1970]

In common speech, any fixation on a singular inanimate object, body part, body feature or sexual practice is called fetishism. Here, fetishism is not an illness but an uncommon but mostly harmless sexual orientation. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_fetishism)

 

I consider myself as a fetishest coz fur has a sexual meaning to me, there is a fixation and I do collect - like most fetishest - furs.

[kuma]

What about exotic or innocent? Is something exotic or innocent stimulating to our senses?

 

Fur used to be an everyday necessity for some people long ago, in some cultures it still is a necessity. People use it to survive and keep warm, take for example, the eskimos.

 

I remember once in college I was flying home for the holidays. In the same terminal was a woman my age who was wearing a cloak, an actual cloak, a la Little Red Riding hood! No fur, but just a regular hooded cloak. So cool and different. I was drawn to it because it was so different, even innocent. We're attracted to innocence because we were born with it, it brings us happiness and joy. Adults can live and celebrate in innocence just as children do. I couldn't help but compliment the woman wearing the cloak because perhaps she wanted to maintain her innocence or portray it by fashion

 

Now, we are surrounded by regular boring fabrics and clothes in our everyday lives. It's all plain, boring, mundane. We have stupid LL Bean parkas instead of furry coats and parkas as we make our journey through the cold days. Fur is too politically incorrect in the eyes of some people today, but yet going to the nearby steakhouse to chow down on BBQ baby-back ribs is OK in the eyes of others

 

In the eyes of some, fur is not innocent, people who wear it are labeled guilty of killing an animal. Bulls*** i say, people who wear fur are surviving from the cold, just like surviving on meat to live - not so different.

 

How would we feel if we walked out of our houses one morning to see all people smilling dressed and wrapped in fur like eskimos? It would be quite the culture shock wouldn't it? Maybe exotic? Maybe innocent? We wouldn't have to worry about hating one another for wearing fur, we could all enjoy it, because we're sharing the common bond of surviving with it. It takes us back to earlier times (the Victorian age) before our society was so messed up and corrupt like it is now.

 

In my eyes, if I were to give my girlfriend a fur coat, it wouldn't be because I'm not only turned on by it, it would be me saying "I love you and don't want you to catch cold." To give warmth to someone is like giving love, that's how i look at it.

 

- Kuma

[ReFur]

Kuma,

 

What a nice post. Thank you!

 

Linda

[polbeton]

for me fur is a viagra,only more powerfull

[Worker 11811]

For me, it's a matter of degrees.

 

To see a person in a fur coat makes me notice him or her. If it's an especially nice fur I'll comment.

 

If it's a woman in a fur coat I'll probably be mildy turned on, depending on the woman.

 

If it's a scantily clad, nubile, young woman I'll most likely be turned on.

 

However, the mere sight of a pile of soft furs on top of a bed or a nice, yummy fur blanket will instantly get my motor running.

 

I don't need fur to get turned on but, if there is fur, it turns me on even more!

[wallee]

Workers response pretty much mirrors my feelings and response to fur.

[Furboy]

For me fur is an erotic simulans, but not a must. I don't think i can be called a true fur fetishist. Of course it makes a huge difference weither a woman (ye i'm straight 8) ) wears fur ornot, but to me it's wrong not to enyoy sex with a person you love when fur is not involved. And i see fur alone most deffinitly not as a sexual thing. That seems a bit strange to me, you see a furcoat in a closet and you're thinking hmm i wanna ... it

 

I'm not judging people btw if they do, it just seems a bit awkward to me.

[Guest]

fetishism has a huge role in culture; partycularly for passing down forgotten traditions. I think that is why it manufests itself most strongly when surpressed.

 

But to answer the question. Though I am not sexually attracted to fur I appreciate its sensuality. Put a fur on a woman , if she is attractive then i am instantly aroused when I would not be by her nakedness.

 

It isn't just fur' I like all dressing up...make up, corstes ect

 

Basically I was brought up in an age of glamour, and the the late 80s crushed it. The 90s were as bleak as communist Chuina: we are in an age of anti-narcissism. UNTIL now. Now its cool to be narcissistic again and fur is the ultimate expression of that. I am worthy; I need it.

 

There is nothing wrong with odolatory of teh self...if it is well done and deserved. When you like yourself...you are happy and can like others. If you dislike yourself, then you end up envious of others. So fur is an expression of narcissism; and that is good. You don't find women in fur with a chip on their shoulder do you? And that confidence is what makes the fur attractive I think....at least partly. I am also spiritually attracted to it as a beautiful natural thing to be valued.

 

Anyone who says fur is not sexual is unaware of nature and the energy of sex embodied in the clothing too.

[Guest]

Without going into the nitty gritty my take on it would be fetish by definition is bordering on obsessive behaviour, it's also sexual in nature & content. fetishism by definition to some people on this site &/or other sites past (NTC/Fetishma) is wanting to see more use of fur in a sexual situation through whatever media but ultimately is for sexual stimulation.....

[sableman]

I don't post here often, but your question intrigued me. I think the difference is, as you put, that fur is. in itself, a major, major stimulant for me. For me, I can get significantly aroused just by looking at a fur, even if it is not being worn by a woman. I can, and have acutally, played with and been erotically charged with a fur and only the fur. I can lay a fur out on a bed and become extremely aroused. Now of course, I love women in fur and that is far more exciting to me than just the fur by itself. And naturally the combination of a woman and a fur is the ultimate! Like many other male members here, I have felt this way since I was fairly young. For most of us who had no serious sexual relations at a young age (of which I am one), our initial dealings with fur would have been with the fur alone and not accompanied or worn by a woman, or a girl. I do think that most women can fully understand this feeling unless they are true fur fetishists. Conversely, I still do not think that us men can get the same feeling of luxury and power that a woman feels when she dons a fur. These are just my thoughts on the subject.

 

Sableman

[Velvet_Tigress]

Wow Linda! What a great question, and what a wonderful bunch of posts to back it up.

 

I have loved fur since I was a little girl, beyond what most would think of as the age when sexual needs need be expressed (though arguments are often made by people in my circle that a baby *knows* how to touch him or herself in a sexual way and will do so). I literally grew up loving fur, though it's hard to say that I knew that I did until I stopped to recognize it.

 

It was as if one day I knew that I loved fur, and that I need not feel bad about that love, that it wasn't wrong to touch it, and that if I were turned on by the act of being in it that it was no more wrong than being turned on by an attractive person.

 

That being said, I can say without a doubt that the fur is an accentuation of my love life and not the only part of it. I love the feeling of fur, I love to wear it, I have done things in the presence of no one but myself that has brought me to orgasm using fur and in fur, but truth be told I am the sort of girl who needs interaction beyond the machinations of myself.

 

Like Worker though, I find that a person in fur is more attractive to me than a person who is not in fur. If I were walking down the street, my eyes would follow the person in fur and I might very well be quite turned on.

 

Kate

[frugalfurguy]

Thanks for asking Linda, and I've long known of the distinction you make between sensuality and fetish. It's certainly all right with me for members here to take exception to the label fetishist.

 

I propose that fetishism is something that exhibits degrees rather than an absolute black or white/yes or no thing. Imagine a color continuum running from white to scarlet. On the far white end are people who experience absolutely no extra libidinal boost from seeing or touching fur. But moving ever so faintly towards pink, some individuals will admit to finding a sexually stimulus from touching or seeing fur, although it certainly isn't the primary source of arousal nor required. Progressing solidly into pink would be people who find fur important but they can do okay without. On the deeper blush side of pink you might start encountering some people who don't achieve full arousal without at least fantasizing about furs, people who aren't much interested in paths other than furs for arousal but who still find a suitable partner who dresses or teases with fur to be important. Beyond the last trace of pink, fetishists will begin to see fur as more important than a partner, though they might still enjoy sharing love of fur with the partner. On the scarlet end of the scale you would find individuals for whom fur garments or other fur objects completely void a desire for a partner.

 

My guess is that the farther you go towards scarlet the fewer people would identify with that degree of fetishism. The farther you go towards white, the less people will feel attracted to a site like this let alone spend energy sharing here.

 

I'd say I'm a very dark pink to red myself. For all my adolescence and my young adult years, I was very caught up with trying to please my parents. I saw my sexuality as my best way (albeit a very desperate way) to gain their approval. A woman who'd have relished what fur would do for me wouldn't do because that'd have made her a whore. The virtuous woman I imagined as being my ticket to finally wrest the approval I so much wanted from my parents would have hated anything I would have found so pleasing as her naked under a fur coat, would have hated my persistent desire to see her that way. Loving such a woman I fancied would be a powerful enough experience to shock me out of the perversity of my fetish.

 

But in order to deserve such a woman, I had to supress the ever present fact that I felt turned on even just seeing an unworn fur coat, even just hearing or seeing such words or phrases as mink coat, sable, dolman, let out, lynx, guard hair, or furriery. I was too busy punishing myself for these what I saw as flaws to be available to build viable relationships.

 

I believe it has been my attitude towards my fetish, not the fetish itself, that so far has prevented me from being in a fully consumated sexual relationship. While it remains to be seen whether I really can develop the trust to accept a sexual partner in my life, fantasies of such an outcome are part of my current autoerotic life. I believe it possible, but I won't have proof until it happens. Seeing how sick was my needy relationship with my parents, I might be in a very similar place even if I were a coitus fetishist (aka "normal"), but perhaps I would have found my way to some healing perspectives faster, seeing that there'd have been plenty of folks who could relate to a coitus fetish.

 

Thanks for this opportunity to share where I've been and how things have gradually changed in my life.

frugalfurguy

[Mr Barguzin]

This is a topic that has seen the rounds of the kitchen table and can be attacked from many angles.

 

My (partial) view can be found in the Library:

 

http://thefurden.com/fdwiki/pmwiki.php?n=Main.AnOverallView-PBarguzin

 

Am still trying to tidy up the rest of the article, and will post it within the next three days (he said hopefully).

 

Gee... dontcha just hate it when something is said to happen in a few days and then it is suddenly done? Well, at least I think I am now done.... just gotta find all the bloody footnotes now... GGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRR

Edited November 23, 2006 by Guest

[ReFur]

Piotr,

 

I only had time to link over to the article. Looks incredible. Hope others will realize the value that the library offers us. Just as posting a picture in the gallery saves it forever., posting worthwhile articles in the library does the same thing.

 

I have a few aticles I am hoping to do soon. Members, if you have atleast checked into the ibabry you should. It is just started, but I believe it will be an incredle addition to our site.

 

Frugalfurguy,

 

Thank you so much for your post. I found it very insightful and helpful.

 

Linda

[triboy46]

If I saw a fur on a hanger in a shop I'd be interested, of course, but only in the context of having/wearing/or other person wearing it. With 14 or so furs in the closet, its easy to be nonchalant about them as "things." However, in the context of sexuality, I find them to be of my most fervent interest. We use them in our intimate moments nearly 100% of the time. Plus, when wife wears them in public, I'm in a quite excited state, I love her being paid attention to, how people react to her, compliment her and her furs.

 

In short, its not the object alone, but how the object is used