Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear At Summer Camp

[JGalanos]

10. "By the end of archery we need enough squirrels for grilling"

 

9. "My toothbrush, your toothbrush, what's the difference?"

 

8. "That video of the bear eating your leg is on YouTube"

 

7. "Welcome to Shaq's camp for fat kids"

 

6. "Good news -- we're on the cover of 'Lyme Disease' magazine"

 

5. "Children, please enjoy the comedy of Eddie Brill!"

 

4. "Across the lake to the east is the girls' camp; across the lake to the west is the state hospital for the criminally insane"

 

3. "Relax, this camp isn't haunted, despite the dozens of people who've been murdered here"

 

2. "Welcome to Hell, punks"

 

1. "It's February. Face it, your parents aren't picking you up"

[Worker 11811]

Here's a real life true camp story:

 

One of the first years I went to summer camp there was a new cook in the mess hall. Nobody knows what possessed her to do this but she took bags of still-frozen ravioli and put them into several giant baking pans, doused them with loads of canned tomato sauce, topped them with shredded pizza cheese then shoved them into the ovens.

 

Two hours later, 200 hungry campers filed into the dining hall and sat down. What we got was what amounted to a plate full of spaghetti flavored bubblegum! It was AWFUL!

 

When asked about it later, her response was something like, "How was *I* supposed to know that ravioli had to be BOILED first?!"

 

So, for years after that, the number one thing we didn't want to hear at summer camp was:

 

"Hey! Marcia is making ravioli for dinner!"