Input requested on issue of secret second ids

[ReFur]

This post is a personal one, which does not represent the admins or other mods.

 

We have had numerous problems in the past few years with members using second ids. These eventually bit us and White Fox alone has spent countless hours trying to fix problems caused by this.

 

I have considered using a second id where I could speak, maybe a little more openly on some issues, assuming no one knew who I was. I decided against this because personalities that have been on site for awhile are much more obvious than many would think.

 

Others have used second ids and have had fun with it, such as the "Bears" we had on site for awhile. So, in no way do I feel there should be a ban.

 

This issue cannot be confused with the fact we cannot, as admins here or mods, protect your heart. If someone deceives you and lies to you, just as in real life, that is not something we can help with, except to give you our shoulders and sympathy.

 

Now, if someone is using one id or two to openly deceive for personal gain ...or to hurt, that is another issue. Our rules clearly state any member who does something hurtful or deceitful to another member will be banned. That is simple - the number of ids is not the issue.

 

My question here, and poll is to ask: Do you as members, think secret second ids should be allowed?

 

Please, the more members who respond the better the feedback.

 

Not sure if there is a right answer here, we mods have very different view points on this. So, the more feedback the better - your comments are appreciated.

 

Thanks,

 

Linda

[Worker 11811]

This is what I think...

 

I wouldn't encourage people to have two IDs but I'm not going to go hunting for them either. But if, in my travels, I discovered there was a member who had two IDs I would ask the person to pick one ID and stick with it.

 

If somebody was using two IDs to cause trouble or to manipulate another member, I would not let them slide and insist that they make a choice. On the other hand, if it was all in fun, I'd play along with the joke just like everybody else.

 

The Bears have asked me to let them have an ID on several occasions but I always tell them, "No." I let them use my account if they want to talk. Being the "Eyes open - Mouth shut" types, as most Teddy Bears are, they don't have much to say anyway, at least not directly. If they had an account of their own it probably wouldn't get used a whole lot.

[White Fox]

Great question Linda.

 

I'm not going to comment because as site owner, I don't think that would help. I would like to see lots of ideas on this one and don't want my opinion "Skewing" the results

 

W

[RonGav]

I hate the idea of a second ID. The purpose of this forum is to be open, honest and forthright in your opinions. It all makes us who we are. Why deceive or hide under a different guise to mask one's insecurities.

 

It seems to me that the more our members open their hearts and feelings (sometimes painfully so) the more we can learn of ourselves.

[icepilot]

Right on RonGav!

 

I whole heartedly concurr. I came here to be open and stop hiding. The Den could be your second id if you like, but i think you should only have one here.

 

Honesty is the best policy.

[lynxette]

I would have to say that I am not in favour of second id's, as the main reason for wanting to use them can cause too much stress and upheaval to others.

I do agree with you Linda, that personalities will eventually come through anyway too, so what is the point really?

[auzmink]

I pretty much go with 'No', but I actually ticked 'yes' with Mod approval. Agreed some fun can be had but in the main we are here helping each other to open our ideas and feelings, not 'tuck them away'.

 

Most of us here are using a 2nd ID from our real life anyway, no need to go further.

 

If its in-jest with a mods approval, fine, and limited, for the rest of us, lets be 'open', most of us have hidden this 'fur thing' for tooooooo longgggggg.

 

Auzmink.

[brandy-uk]

I like being me and I like being honest.. I also respect everyone on here for being honest and open.. i think if there were a lot of 'alter-egos' on the site it wouold make myself.. well act a little quieter and I would not be so out spoken... (which may be a good thing.. he he )

 

Also.. it is honesty that makes us feel relaxed.. I like the way the Moderators are all open and honest.. I like being told off when I am wrong ( sorry mods.. ) and I respect people speaking their minds...I respect everyone point of view even if I don't agree... I wonder if alter-egos would produce a 'sneaky' feeling.. and change the feeling of the family den...

 

Brandy

xxxxx

[frugalfurguy]

This message completes my vote.

 

I'm making a personal commitment not to use a second id here. I want to be forthright with people and avoid deviousness.

 

I'd like to see a strong encouragement for people to avoid being sneaky here. At the same time, I'd want to avoid being a community that relies on police-like regulation for a sense of safety. So making it a rule doesn't seem appropriate.

 

I want this to be a safe place, but that safety should be built on members being responsible for their own happiness, to learn to trust by degrees rather than assuming that those who serve us as leaders can actually protect us from anyone who'd do harm. And of course ultimately we can all make errors in deciding where to risk being vulnerable. And those errors are a painful part of learning how to take care of ourselves.

 

Thanks for listening to our views on the matter!

 

frugalfurguy

[JerseyFurLover]

I would hope nobody would feel the need to make an alternate ID, because one thing that I appreciate about this site is the openness and freedom to exchange ideas and know you're gonna get face value for them. I don't think we need to make a ruling about this, but in order that we don't we all need to have an open agreement among all who join to be honest, open, and forthright to express themselves.