New Living Will Form

[FrBrGr]

I have a new living will:

 

I, FrBrGr, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead partisan politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it or lawyers/doctors/hospitals interested in simply running up the bills.

 

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

 

A fox bedspread and pillow, a beer, a margarita, a scotch and soda, a glass of chardonnay, a steak, some lobster and crab legs, the remote control, a bowl of vanilla ice cream, cheese cake, or sex . . .

 

Then it should be presumed that I won't ever get any better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

 

At this point, it is time to call my priest to come do his/her thing at my funeral, and to ask all of my friends and relatives to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have had over the years!

 

Signature: ___________________________ Date: ___________________________

 

NOTE: I also hear that in Ireland they have a nursing home with a pub. The patients are happier, and they have a lot more visitors. Some of them don't even need embalming when their time comes. If anyone knows the name of this happy place, please pass it on!