Am I strange?

[Guest]

Please don't answer that question directly. My wife would say "YES!" At any rate, my fur jacket is on its way from the furrier to my house. I am hoping it will arrive today so that I might wear it tomorrow. I have thought about wearing it on a couple of occasions and I have gotten the butterflies in anticipation of the excitment of just sliding into it to be (relatively) engulfed in fur. Is this strange?

 

JA

[White Fox]

One of the things I look forward to...

 

The first time we go out in fur and see the hairs in the fur kind of blowing and shimmering in the breeze. Man, I love that. Something about that along with the softness that would send anyone into some real rapture...

[Worker 11811]

Not strange but let's just say we're more than one standard deviation above the mean.

[paul2809]

I love wearing my faux fur jacket n the morning hours here n texas where i live.

It does get cold enough for some faux fura that ive seen people wear and

A few real ones.... Wearing mine makes me feel good...

[grouchomg]

Wear it! Enjoy it! Anyway and anywhere you can!

[ReFur]

If it adds joy to your life, how can that be bad?

 

Just enjoy!

[Guest]

Thanks to all! I have been wearing my fur jacket fairly consistently. Because of teh support I recieve here at the den, I am more and more confident in wearing fur in a town where one does not typically see a fur jacket or coat, especially on a man.

 

I wore it to school/work for finals week on a couple of different occasions this week. Various people commented "Nice coat" NOT in a sarcastic tone. I offered to let them feel it if their hands were clean. All responses were the same: "WOW!" I went to Starbuck's for a coffee, and a pair of young women made teh same comment (nice coat). They wanted to feel it so I accomodated. They too said "WOW". Again I said thank you, and said that I was glad they liked my jacket as my wife doesn't. They instantly responded with: "Who cares, you're warm. Besides, it is a good conversation starter." Go figure a 20-something educating me...I truly never really thought of it that way. NO I am NOT going to "go prowling" for (young) women by wearing my jacket!

 

On another occasion, one student (NOTE: I am VERY CAREFUL with students. I don't let students (male or female) touch it if I am wearing it unless there are MANY people aroound. I like my job.) felt it and said: "God, I'd want a whole bed made of this". I simply said something like that is an interesting thought. What I thought was: "She's one of US!"

 

All the above have lifted my spirits this week. My wife told me how much she does NOT like my jacket and referred to it as my "f@%%ot jacket". About 30 min later, I put on my jacket and promplty told her I was putting on my f@%%ot jacket and taking the dog for a walk. She later apologized for verbalizing her thoughts, but NOT the sentiment! This is curious to me as she introduced me to a few gay men with whom she went to school when we first started dating. She LOVED all these guys! When I met them I could see why she loved all these guys. They were (unfortunately past tense for one in particular, AIDS) all GREAT guys. I loved them too!

 

We also visited the Jean Paul Gaultier exhibit (he did the Madonna spikey bra among other things) when it was in San Francisco. She LOVED it! One of the things that JPG wants to accomplish in his clothing is to make the line between men's and women's fashion less obvious or "blur the line". But if I wear a fur jacket, it is a f@%%ot jacket. She is making me crazy!

 

Sorry for venting. Yes, it's personal. Don't feel compelled to respond. Again I'm just venting. I am valuing the positives from various people, including a construction worker who said he hadn't seen a "fur coat" in a while.

 

Thanks for the support!

 

JA

 

PS I don't use the hood on my jacket. The other night I couldn't sleep, so I put the hood on my pillow. It felt great on my cheeks! I fell asleep fairly quickly.

[Worker 11811]

The problem clearly doesn't seem to be yours. Sounds like the ol' lady is the one with the problem.

 

You don't do anything illegal or immoral. You don't hurt people. You don't do inappropriate things at inappropriate times. You just like fur. What the hell is wrong with that?

 

Is she a closet PeTA-phile? Does she have a hangup about fur?

Excuse me for asking but is there some reason she got the idea that you love fur more than you love her?

 

I don't want to pre-judge and I certainly don't want to make guesses without knowing more about other people but, to be honest, I think she's the one who is in the wrong, here. Not you.

[Guest]

Thanks Worker! I know I have been through all the scenarios. I have actually gone through the I haven't had an affair (my wife has gone to wander, but says she hasn't), I don't molest children. What I do is like fur...sue me!

 

Closet PeTA? Interesting question. She told me, perhaps before she knew about my fur affinity, once that she used to usher at the San Francisco Opera. She worked in the coat check room. She said that when the opera started, she and her friend would put on all the fur coats.

 

I also recall going to a wedding in Pittsburgh in November. The stepmother of the groom had a full length mink (gorgeous). As we crossed the street together, my wife grabbed the sleeve (the coat was draped over the wearer's shoulders), and snuggled it. I think "the experience" of getting my fur jacket put a sour taste in her mouth, and she can't get over it. Could it be I had more fun than she did?

 

Thanks again Worker! I know I am not doing anything wrong. It is simply an affinity. Does it bring me pleasure? YES! Do I like to FEEL fur? YES! Am I perverted? NO!

[Guest]

One more positive. So as I wrote earlier, I wore my fur to school/work last week. MANY students were coming to my office on Wednesday (it was 29 degrees Wed morning) to ask questions about the upcoming final on Thursday. One of the students was standing at the door as another student was in my office. The student at the door saw my fur jacket hanging up and said: "A friend of mine is going to take your class next semester. I told her to take your class. I told her you have an AWESOME jacket! He (i.e. me) wears it in the spring because it is colder then, so look for him in his awesome jacket."

 

Of course this made my day!

 

JA

[elbas3175]

Apologies if all this has been covered by you in previous threads, but...

 

Why does your wife not like your jacket? Is she trying to say that she doesn't like fur, despite the evidence you quoted to the contrary? Is she saying she doesn't like fur on men? What (in summary) happened when you bought the jacket?

 

It sounds as though she really likes fur as well, and you are missing out on a lot of fun in sharing your love of fur with her, which is such a shame

[summersmorning]

What kind of fur jacket do you have? Do you have a picture? I think your wife wants a fur coat too, get her one for Christmas! I am pretty sure she loves fur too, I have a crystal ball!

[Worker 11811]

So, we're not talking about a big, "Liberace fur," just a jacket, right?

Must be a nice jacket if the students are talking about it.

 

I just can't figure out what she's so bugged about.

I wouldn't think it's the evangelical Christian sexual hangup thing. Things you've said, before, would seem to rule that out. Same thing goes for the conservative, prude sexual hangups. I don't see that as a problem, either.

 

Maybe she's just got this idea that, if men wear fur, it has to look like something they just killed with their bare hands.

 

The only other thing I can think of is that there is a rift between the two of you and she's just using fur as an excuse.

[Guest]

To All:

 

Thank you again! I'll try to recap. The jacket isn't anything fancy. It is a rex rabbit dyed to look like chinchilla (I've seen nicer, though I've seen a lot worse). When I first wear it in front of students, they all laugh, gasp, holler, whatever. I tell them that it is the "Toyota Tercel" of furs. That is, entry-level.

 

Worker you bring up some good points. A rift? That would be putting it mildly. The fur could be an excuse, but I think it is more of "another negative". The conservative religious has potential. One of my favorite stories is when I took her and her sister to the Sierra Nevada Brewery Restaurant. I was sampling a couple of different beers and ales (some upwards of 10% alcohol). My sister-in-law asks something like how much does it take you to get tipsy. Being the smart ass that I am, I respond "Why, what did you have in mind?" My wife was standing right there. As far as I was concerned, the joke was over as soon as I finished my line. Well about six (yes SIX) months later, my wife brings this up as I was "flirting with her sister" (REALLY! I shit you not!). The thing is I didn't know what what my wife was talking about when she said I was flirting with her sister. I asked her to tell me what I was doing/what I said. She tells me of the situation that is described above. When she told me I was in disbelieve...I started laughing! What I did was something like what my dad would have done. Joke's over after everyone laughs. No flirting, no innuendos, no intent. Just being a smart ass, end of story!

 

It IS interesting that my wife complains that Americans are a bunch of prudes (compared to say, Europeans and Australians). She's right. But she is also at the front of the line! I've told her this. I dont' think she likes it, but she doesn't say much.

 

Overall it seems the students LOVE my jacket! You have to remember. There are probably about 20 furs in the entire area where I live. I'm the only male to wear a fur, at least that I have seen. It is odd. I do stand out. But hey, at least I'm not invisible. So it is really no surprise that the students mention/talk/gossip about the fur jacket. My fellow faculty members overall I think disapprove. You have to remember, professor types are a stodgy bunch. The ONE guy that I thought would give me hell is the outdoor education guy because everything is about preserving wilderness and nature. He LOVES the jacket! He said when he first saw it, he thought it was one of those "pile" jackets that are sold by North Face and other manufacturers. He encourages me to wear it!

 

There is a picture of me in the jacket in the gallery under "members' furs". It is something like "JA3". Getting my wife a fur would exacerbate the situation. Believe me, I'd get her a fur in a heart beat if there was even an inclination of desire for a fur. I think it is a "guy in fur" stereotype. I keep saying (to people my age): "Joe Namath made it O.K." as in mainstream.

[White Fox]

All...

 

Always remember that as far as you the wearer are concerned it is perfectly normal. You don't understand why anyone would make a fuss.

[Guest]

Well said WF!

 

I did run into an "anti fur" person who said that "vintage furs were O.K., but that there is no reason to have fur from DEAD ANIMALS (she emphasized) when synthetic fur is available. I asked her how many barrels of oil it would take to make one fur coat? She didn't have an answer.

[summersmorning]

Just went to the Gallery, checked out your fur. It looks like a guy's fur, pretty nice for a rabbit. Get her a rabbit fur to match yours, and take her for holiday walks, just like you two are dating again.....she might be going through life changing, you need to play nice without cold words. Best wishes!

[minkme]

Have you ever taken your wife fur shopping? Maybe she wants a fur also, maybe that is why she hates you wearing it.