dating ideas

[paul2809]

hey guys..

 

what does every one think of a online fur lovers dating website?? I dont know any thing about how to build websites,

but I know if I was single right now and there was a website specially dedicated to Fur lovers such as I, I would do it in a heartbeat....

any thoughts, ideas, suggestions????

 

I would hope it would be a furry dating site similar to match.com or e harmony site...

[Fox]

Only one small problem with the idea. The demographics of the dating site would almost certainly reflect those of all the current fur fora. That is to say, you'd have a ton of guys, and about 3 women (plus or minus 3).

[MrMockle]

Paul and all,

 

Sadly Fox is incorrect in one regard: it's not a small problem but a complete showstopper I believe.

 

I've written about this issue here and elsewhere many times in the past: in fact, I need to continue my three-part study of this elsewhere too before much longer. These forums are one of the worst places to look for a fur loving partner, almost regardless of your sexual orientation. The number of people who have actually met through such sites is minute: even just for two guys meeting socially, let alone people meeting for sexual reasons or couples finding a long standing love. I've been following various fur fetish forums and chat sites for at least 17 years and can't remember hearing of any serious relationships starting between members of them. I suggest that trying to create a site specifically for that purpose would be a colossal waste of time and money.

 

If I may presume, you are looking to find a fur-loving partner? If so then consider what you realistically want and work out how and where to go about finding such a person in the real world. Don't expect to find any women - or whoever you are looking for: women, men, tgirls etc - into furs in the same way that you are, but do get out in your local area and meet people, chat with them and see what you have in common beyond or ignoring fur. You may find someone who is ideal in every way except for how they feel about fur, or who is happy or curious to indulge your fur fantasies after time taken to get to know you. But do make the effort and be proactive: just sitting on forums like this with a predominantly male and very geographically disperse membership and hoping the right person will find you is going to lead to a very long or eternal wait.

 

A suggestion for those of you who don't want to do things the old fashioned way of meeting in person: you might want to consider a bigger and wider online fetish community, such as Fetlife (others exist I'm sure). That seems to have a better ratio of male to female members and is more likely to have people in your area (or near enough to make travel and meetings possible). Also, while you may not find many people into furs there, you may find local people with other interesting or similar kinks - and often they may be more open to trying new (kinky) things than someone you may meet in a "normal" bar or nightclub casually: you may even find their kinks leads you into new and exciting adventures as well.

 

Good luck in any case - but if you (collectively) want to find the right person, go look for them everywhere: don't just hide in the crowd here.

 

Regards,

Mr Mockle

Edited December 15, 2013 by Guest

[Worker 11811]

I wonder if it would be possible to have a regular dating/meetup site that allows the member to put in information about personal preferences like that.

 

Side note: I really hate the term "fur fetish!"

 

First of all, we don't have a fetish. We have a preference!

"Fetish" is a pseudo-psychological term that refers to the fact that a person can't function without a particular stimulus being present. Well, I function pretty well on my own, thank you! It just so happens that I think "functioning" is a whole lot more fun with that particular "stimulus" being present!

 

The reason I mention this is because the mere mention of the term "fur fetish" seems to cause a whole bunch of creepy people to come crawling out of the woodwork!

 

I don't like to tie people up! I don't like to get tied up! I don't like whips and chains! I don't want to be dominated by women! I don't like being treated like a slave! I don't like dressing up in furry costumes! I don't like pretending to be an animal!

 

All I want to do is share some quality time with somebody I care about! I only think that "quality time" has more "quality" if there is fur in the bed, too!

 

Let me make it perfectly clear. I have nothing against people who like whips and chains or any of that other stuff. I can understand the attraction. I get it. Maybe, some day, if I found the right person (who I implicitly trust) I might like to try some of those things. My point isn't about that.

 

My point is that people automatically make the connection between being sexually turned on by fur and all those other things whenever somebody merely says the words "fur fetish."

 

The upshot is that having a "Fur Fetish Dating Site" or even a "Fur Fetish Preference" section on a traditional dating site is likely to attract a whole lot of people who you don't want merely because you used the word "fetish" in your profile.

 

That pisses me off!

 

I just like fur! That's it!

[paul2809]

Didnt mean to offend anyone... its only an idea...

I understand what you guys r talking about...

I thought it would be a nice idea ...

[Worker 11811]

No offense. Discussion.

 

Your idea is a good one.

 

The question is whether it can be done and how.

 

Brainstorming is what it's called.

[samurman]

I agree with Mr Mockle. Fetlife is a very good site, providing lots of opportunities to meet with local people.

 

I also would like to mention facebook. Yes, the good old tired facebook. Even though I have not used facebook for the express purpose of meeting someone, I received a few offers to meet socially in real life through facebook. Blogs are great, too. And instagram, twitter, and pinterest...

 

I think, if you provide real pictures of yourself and give some tangible information about yourself, instead of lurking behind an anoymous nickname that contains "fur" somewhere in it, your chances of finding someone multiplies 10-fold or maybe even more! It is simply a matter of trust.

[MrMockle]

Worker and all,

 

I'm sure that many dating, contact and relationship sites have plenty of space and scope that allow you to put in all sorts of preferences: in which case it would be about the individual creating their profile or making posts to look for companions to be creative in their words to catch the eye of the other members who might read it. The case then is to think not only about what an individual wants to write to "promote" themselves, but also what language and phrases might attract the sorts of people they want to find or meet with, within the guidelines and rules of that community.

 

The word "fetish" has at least three common definitions and only one refers to explicit sexual use or desire, but sadly that is the most common interpretation of the phrase - especially by those who consider themselves "straight", "normal" or not part of a wider fetish community. Again this is about targeting your words, profile, posts and adverts to your intended audience. I'm not sure the issue is that the use of "fetish" may attract the wrong sort of people - I think though it is more likely to dissuade a large majority of people who consider themselves "normal" and happen to wear or like fur from joining up. Consider even the demographics of fur forums over the years: almost all male with a handful of (genuine) female and transgender profiles. It has been an eternal problem of how to attract more women (specifically) to join and participate in such forums, yet a world of appealing posts and discussions can be undermined in a stroke by a few ruder or "fetishy" posts, images or links.

 

This brings an individual back to the question of what sort of person do they want to attract or meet - and, once they know that, work out where and how they are most likely to find them. How and to what degree does that individual want or see fur as part of a relationship - and what compromises are they themselves prepared to make too? this is a question that can be asked about almsot anything though: work, sports, pastimes, etc. If fur is a be-all-and-end-all for someone, then they might have to be prepared for a lifetime on their own alone with their furs. If you just want to meet someone who owns and wears furs publicly then go out in public and look for them: don't expect them to be lurking around such forums waiting for Mr Right. You might find such people more easily on general fashion websites and forums: places without sexual or "fetishy" themes.

 

I do wish you all luck and happiness in your search for love, but put the effort in in every way and persevere in those efforts. Don't expect someone else to find you if you do nothing. Also, don't rely on a short post which sounds overly desparate or needy, offers nothing significant of interest, information or appeal about yourself and is accompanied by an anonymous avatar or photo of you "rocking" your fur: to most non-fur (and many fur-) people that is bound to scream the word "wierdo".

 

Oh, and Samurman: if you are on Twitter do please drop me line there too. Hope you are doing well, my friend.

 

Regards,

Mr Mockle

[thegraduate]

this is an awesome idea

[White Fox]

It would be easy to have a dating forum here for instance. But as has been mentioned, if we had a hundred posts in it I am afraid that maybe one or two of them would be from women. And if you live in US, likely all of them would be from Britain or France, etc.

 

If anyone can convince us that this is a worth while idea we would gladly set it up. It takes all of maybe 5 minutes. But members here have told us that they hate too many forums, and we would just need some sort of positive info to counter all of the endless experiences from the past.

 

W

[Fox]

"But as has been mentioned, if we had a hundred posts in it I am afraid that maybe one or two of them would be from women."

 

I think you're being optimistic White Fox.

[White Fox]

Actually on the whole I am totally agreeing with you Fox. Even if there were say 7 posts from women how does anyone know they are from women?

 

What I am saying is that if someone could totally convince us that we are wrong here we could try it. i.e. this is a home for everyone here and not just moderators. I am certainly willing to listen. But I am afraid that in this case, it would be a very difficult path.

 

W

[Fox]

I was just giving you a hard time, trying to insinuate that even 1 or 2 posts from women out of a hundred total is being optimistic, and perhaps attempting to overly exaggerate.