ReFur Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 A young guy from Minnesota moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job. The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says, "Yeah. I was a salesman back in Minnesota." Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did." His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many customers bought something from you today? The kid says, "One". The boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?" The kid says, "$101,237.65." The boss says, "$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?" The kid says, "First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition." The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK?" The kid said, "No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 A classic linda. I have a similar one. A gypsy lad asks in a sports shop for some work as a salesman. The manager looks him up and down , and refuses. "Look guvenor, I know im romany n'arl, but I be a real good salesman...really good...please give us a charnce" He charms his way into the mangers heart but he explains he isnt looking for a salesman at that time. "I be working' fer commission oanley....so you don arf ter pay me nuthin if I's dont sell anything. Please just let me have a go." "well okay I suppose it wont hurt. Lets see how you do." An hour after being on the shop floor , the manager returns to see the Gypsy lad has made his first sale. Its Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Worker 11811 Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 A clerk in a grocery store is tending to the produce. An old lady walks up behind him, taps him on the shoulder and asks him if she could buy half of a head of lettuce. "I don't know about that, Ma'am. I'll have to go ask the manager." He walks up to the front counter and says to the manager, "You won't believe this! There's this stupid old lady in the produce section who wants to buy a HALF head of lettuce!" Just then, he turns around and sees the old lady standing right behind him! Thinking quickly, he says, "...But THIS lady, right here, would like to buy the OTHER half..." He hurridly cuts a head of lettuce in half, sells it to the lady and rushes her out the door. The manager says to the clerk, "I've never seen anybody think so fast on his feet! I should recomend you for a management position in the new store the company is building up north!" "That's great! Where is it?" the clerk asks. "Montreal." The clerk blurts out, "Montreal!? Why, there's nothing but hookers and hockey players in Montreal!" "It just so happens that my... WIFE... is from Montreal!" the manager scowls. "Oh, really!?", the clerk replies, "What TEAM does she play for?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allfurme Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 An old joke. A little old lady walks into a fishmongers. Yes Madam? A quarter of a pound of whale meat please. Certainly Madam Oh and can i have the head for the cat? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allfurme Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 An Irishman walks into a shoe shop Can i help you sir? Yes i'd like to return these Wellington boots? Are they the wrong size? No Are they broken? No Well is there anything wrong with them? No not really, it's just that the piece of string is too short Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 MODS MOD....THERE IS RACISM ON THeSe POSTs!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 I am joking of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Worker 11811 Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 What?? You don't like people from Montreal? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReFur Posted May 13, 2006 Author Share Posted May 13, 2006 Touch, you are right! I my Grandmother was Irish, too! Nice night at the Pub, eh?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allfurme Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 I tell all my Irish jokes to my friend, she is Irish (her first language is Irish Gaelic) and she thinks they are hilarious; I was woken one morning at 3am by knocking on the front door. I went downstairs and opened the door. A desperate looking man said in an Irish accent, "You couldn't give me a push could you?" I said, "Where are you?" To which he replied, "Over the park on the swings." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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