A word of advice - you might be surprised.

[archidux]

So, here goes…

 

I'm a long time member (40yo married man) making my first post - primarily to open a dialogue and share some of my experience. Like many of you my interest in fur goes back as far as I can remember. I probably had some childhood experience with the plush, tactile nature of fur as a material or a connection to feminine beauty that stuck in my brain and has become a trigger for blissful, euphoric and erotic feelings. Though somewhere along the way, that joy got poisoned by a sense of shame which lead me to suppress my interest and hide my passion for fur.

 

I dabbled with my fetishistic inclinations through the early days of the internet: seeking out images, videos and even used fur garments but kept it secret. My fear was so great that even in the first days of the relationship with my (now) wife I lied about a fur I purchased on eBay and told her it was left in my apartment from a previous girlfriend. This was perhaps one of the bigger mistakes I ever made.

 

This single lie (to hide my sexual interest in fur) lead to years (YEARS!) of denial, suppression and missed opportunity. Despite my attempts to subvert, deny and suppress my interest in fur, my ever-loving partner knew the whole time that there was more to it. However, my attempts to cover up my feelings and avoid what I perceived as a "perversion" effectively cut-off any opportunity to share my interest and express my true feelings. The tragedy of this situation was that my wife is truly one of the most caring, open-minded and adventurous people I've ever known and has since told me that with a little confidence on my part, she would have followed me anywhere.

 

Instead we carried on for years of vanilla sex with me quietly pausing on pages of fashion magazines and drooling over department store furs while she seemed to refuse my interests. I can recall her saying things like, "If you want to make this fantasy happen, its up to you - not me." to which I froze and continued to pretend my sexual predilection for fur didn't exist or control me. The truth of the matter was however that I was ashamed. I figure that somewhere along the way in childhood I must have been caught enjoying fur in a way that someone deemed inappropriate and I accepted that - which took an awfully long time to recover from.

 

More recently, though loads of close talk, honesty and self-examination we are in a much much better place. I'm happy to report that my wife and I have enjoyed a fantastic new expansion of our intimacy involving furs and much more. And for the record she was right! - A huge part of the break through came from me. It took a real confidence in my own desires. There's nothing wrong with your kinks people! but you need to own them and express them without fear. In the end she was not only willing but exuberant and aroused by my authority to say, "You look sexy in that fur." "I'm turned on by you in furs." "Its my turn to wear the fur now."

 

I'm in a great place now with a loving partner (and a closet of a few super-fun fur pieces) but I'm sharing because I don't want another fur fanatic to miss-out on what could be the time of your life. Tell your partner. Own it. Don'y be ashamed - its awesome. I'm having the best time of my marriage after 15years but I can't help but contemplate what I missed out on. Some might not share your passion for fur but a compassionate partner would be foolish not to indulge your fantasies.

[AKcoyote]

A too long delayed WELCOME to the Den

 

An interesting and well said story with good advice for the closet fur freaks.

[chloelovesfur]

I agree. Thing about furs that if you don't know how 'she' will react it could go the other way, a slippy slope to things 'not being ok', because of the negativity around furs (specially in this country).

 

Me ? I Married a total fur goddess but other side's of her personality where hard to live with.

 

Now I'm with another woman who is unusually ambivalent to furs, but I have a nice mink and fox fur in me wardrobe.

 

If there a moral to this story I've no idea what it is

[LeComte]

Congratulations! For joining the forum and for discovering the fur world of pleasure.

 

Such a story seems common to me. I also waited too long until I opened up myself. But now we enjoy furs in a lot of aspects. Although my partner doesn't share exactly the same fetish than me, and maybe never will. But - so what, life is great with furs

[minkme]

Congratulations Archidux. Its never too late. Glad you finally opened up to your wife and she was willing to help out. Enjoy.

[DuFc85]

A nice story both as a warning and a positive example...

 

I had never been in a relationship until i met my fiancee (we`re getting married in November) and one of the reasons was that I had no idea how to bring my fur fetish into a relationship. Not long after we started to get serious my wife asked me if I had any fetishes. I froze and said no. Coming from a "good Christian home" I immediately felt terrible at lying so shamelessly to her face.

 

Five minutes after I walked into the kitchen and told her the truth. It lead to an amazing evening where she asked questions and I told her about (nearly) all aspects of my fetish. She found it extremely interesting and was with me from the start. In return I try to cater for her kinks. It works out wonderfully and we're in a very good place. My biggest dream since my early teens has been to walk around with a woman in fur. For me wearing fur out and about as a garment is the peak. I don't really want it in bed In December she's going to fulfill it for me

 

Hopefully I'll dare to reveal the final piece of the puzzle one day as well...

 

Be honest, and if you're in a relationship, ask your partner if he/she has any kinks. To quote the admirable archidux: You might be surprised

[chrisndeca]

And just to add a bit to the discussion, you will be much happier being a single guy with a fur fetish than a married "pervert" because she doesn't understand or care. If she doesn't like fur, then she probably isn't the one (at least for my level of fetish).

[furrycocoon]

welcome.Interesting read.Thank you

[samurman]

Good for you archidux! I am happy things finally worked out great for you and your awesome wife. I, unfortunately, have not been that lucky. Alas, we have to make do with what we've got.

[grouchomg]

Those of us who are married to a fur-bearing soul mate are most fortunate. I am of that category. My wife and I both have furs, though I more than she. And we enjoy the pleasures - use your imagination - and warmth that fur brings.

 

How many other fur bearers out there share the fun of furs with their partner?

[red_fox]

I always try to make clear my feelings for furs when I'm in this level of intimacy with someone, but I think I have to work a little more on the approach. I'm not willing to hide it anymore from anyone, it's unfair for both sides.

[punisherthunder]

Part of my original problem was my first girl, she was rather "low maintenance", almost "country" to a degree. Fur was only something that super mega rich people had.

 

The girl I eventually married, she was somewhat used to it as her mother owned two small fox jackets. But I learned with her that I could never compromise the fetish because then that would be living a lie. ALWAYS find a spouse that shares fur too.

[RonGav]

First, well written, absolutely true and an exact mirror of my early life. Finally, my love of furs is pretty well known among my family and close friends. And most recently my wife has become open to grabbing a fur at night to wear while watching a movie, or napping on the sofa. I have become more open, honest AND LESS ANXIOUS about expressing my desire for her to wear a fur out, or just out in the patio in the evening. It's still tough, for I don't want to sound monotonic, but it is much easier to be honest than to hold in the frustration.

 

Oh, for those of you still in the dating stage, again be honest. When the time is right and you two start talking more intimately, let her know that you find furs "sexy." Those are the exact words I have spoken to two different women. And in both cases, an impish smile crossed their faces as they imagined the possiblities. I remember one saying she had a mink coat, and could wear it for me. Though we didn't continue dating long after, this was reassuring to know. So guys, be honest early on. Life's too short to be paired with a woman who doesn't want to share your passion.

[Luck7]

very good advice!

 

I recently told my girlfriend while we were telling each other our secrets. Things we had never told anyone else about.

She didn't really ask much about it, guess she was a little overwhelmed, even though I did pick the right word wisely.

Guess it's because she's very shy when it comes to sexual things. She's 22 but never even had sex before she met me. So maybe it was too soon. On the other hand I'm glad I told her and I know she appreciates my honesty.

I think I should give it some time! Maybe the conversation will come up again when the time is right...

 

Any ideas?