I need help with wearing a fur coat!

[dongleboy]

Ever since I was a small child I've loved everything about fur. The look, feel and smell.  Anyway, I was browsing on eBay and found a gorgeous ++size full length mink that was uni-sex in style so I bought it for a terrific price and it arrived yesterday.  It fits beautifully so I intend to wear it come next winter.  Speaking as a guy I've just never had the confidence to wear a full length coat in public but having realised how fragile life is recently, I've decided to hell with it - I'll do what makes ME happy! 

I have a gorgeous sable scarf which I found in a charity/shrift shop for a few pounds. Turns out it was Russian sable!  Obviously, neither the doners nor the shop staff had any idea what it was.   It was originally a stole but my local furrier re-modelled it into a scarf which I've worn it to great acclaim for five winters now and it's had nothing but compliments.  However, a scarf is one thing - an ankle length coat is something else! 

The first problem will be telling my wife.  My wife has four fur coats, one made specifically and the other three were acquired second hand.  To be completely honest, I don't think my wife has ever been into the whole fur thing and wears them simply to please me.  I'm honestly not sure what she'll think.  I will tell her over the next couple of weeks but I'm kind of working myself up to it. 

My initial plan is to wear it to places I know really well. I'll drive as opposed to using public transport. Under no circumstances will I wear it to work!  

I've  done a bit of reading on the subject and the consensus is broadly positive although most of the male fur wearers tend to be black with high profiles.  I know I'll be very self conscious to begin with but I hope that'll eventually wear off. (My parents bought me a sheepskin coat when I was 18 and it took me a long time to wear it in public.  Now I wouldn't bat an eyelid!) 

 

I'd really appreciate any input other forum members could give me.  Many thanks in advance. 

[rabbitfur]

You're exactly right - you have to do what makes you happy. If your wife is already wearing coats just for you, I have to imagine that she would understand you having your own would make you happy.

I only very recently started wearing furs around in public, and got very positive feedback. My wife has the same attitude as yours, only she won't wear them outside the house. But she's happy that I'm happy when I wear them around.

All the tips I read from older posts in these forums said to wear with confidence. It's easy to do when you're surrounded by your favorite coat 😉

 

[a_man_of_many_foxes]

I am literally in the same boat as you or was in the same boat. I am somewhat reserved but love fashion. I started with a very nice sheepskin coat for the last couple of years from overland. Just this past winter I finally wore a fur coat out in public. It felt wonderful and I’m sure I had a few people that laughed but most people could care less or even complimented me. I am a heterosexual Texan that drives a lifted truck and all of that but I still love furs, especially in public. My wife doesn’t love them like I do but she encouraged me just to wear them in public and not overthink it. Let me know if you have any questions or if I cAn help in any way!

[fursince63]

Advice,  easy to give but hard to take.  Problem#1 Your wife. It would seam to me that she is open minded and accommodating by wearing furs just to please you. She may be more disappointed in the fact you did not feel secure enough to share your feelings and your purchase with her from the beginning.  Perhaps you can spend more time thinking about how fortunate you are to have a wonderful loving wife and less time worrying about how and when to wear a coat. She loves you for YOU!    Problem #2   I understand feeling self conscious about our love of fur  BUT I think WE make more of it than the people around us. I really wish I learned this lesson earlier in life.  The hard part is that your comfort level comes from within so I say dare to be different especially with fashion . I wish I could say you will only receive compliments ( for me 90% positive) but in todays day and age you may upset PETA (god forbid). You must be able to accept who you are and  project confidence and kindness in your actions.  BEST WISHES!!!!!!!

[minkme]

First of all, congratulations on your ++ size mink coat.  I hope you will be able to enjoy wearing it.

I can totally understand your fear telling your wife.  I feel the same way.  I have yet to buy a fur coat.  Over the years, I have secretly set aside some money to do just that but I am afraid of what my wife would say.  Last year, I borrowed a mink coat on consignment.  It was in a garment bag when I showed her.  My wife did not want to see it.  I was really disappointed and ended up returning the coat.  

The good thing for you is that your wife had four fur coats that she wears for you.  So, with that, having furs around is nothing new in your household.  So having another one should be ok.  Now, the new mink, is that a men's or women's style?  If it's a women's, then you can say its for your wife?  Have you worn any of her fur coats in front of your wife before?  Should you wait to tell her? I am not sure which part of the world you live in?  USA? Europe? The weather will change and get warmer so try not to wait too long before your unveiling.  So, let's get this passed your wife first, then worry about wearing it outside later.  Who knows? Does your wife wear furs outside?  Maybe you both can wear furs out one day.

 

[Shy_Fur_Guy]

Not only will she understand but I think that you will find that she is very supportive of you. Especially since she knows at the very least do you have an interest in furs.

I do understand the misgivings that you might have, though. It took me a bit to tell my wife the first time I bought one but she ended up being completely okay with it and for that matter, okay with the next three times I bought them. I think that once you do tell her, you will feel a lot better about it. She may even be willing to wear hers in public the first time you take yours out.

[dongleboy]

Many thanks indeed for all the helpful advice. I really appreciate you taking the time to reply.

I still haven't told my wife yet and that's a source of some dissonance for me since I tell my wife EVERYTHING!  She's well aware of my 'fur fascination' and has been since we first got together. In fact, last Christmas she paid for a mink coat to be remodelled as a blanket at no small expense.  (The coat itself had quite a history since it was bought from a woman with quite a history in the public eye. However, she's still alive so I'd better be discreet .)

 I will tell her eventually but I never seem to find the moment.  (I've got almost a fortnight off work just now and, obviously, we can't do anything except the gardening.)  

The weather just now is exceptional and not appropriate for fur wearing.  I'm in The United Kingdom so a male wearing fur would be a little out of the ordinary but I figure that's less of my problem.  

I have seen men wearing fur over my many years of 'fur spotting' and always intended to speak to them about it but somehow I never got the opportunity.  The first time was at a Marianne Faithful concert where I saw a chap in his 50's wearing a gorgeous dark mink jacket.  I also saw a youngish guy wearing a black ankle length mink coat outside our local concert hall after a classical concert.  I had my wife with me and she was wearing her fox jacket and he looked with interest at her. However, it was quite dark and by the time I'd recognised what he was wearing the moment had passed. 

I also saw a very young guy wearing a sable coat when I was in Milan back in December but he was with a group and my Italian isn't fluent enough to offer compliments.  It's very possible he could have interpreted my interest as being anti! 

Wirth regard to any PETA interest, my local furrier told me that not once had any of his clients said anything about bring harassed by those clowns.  The only anti experience I ever heard about first hand was when I complimented a woman in a department store who was wearing the most amazing mink I think I've ever seen in my life.  She told me I'd made her day since she'd just been given a hard time by two young male university students!  

Anyway, the coat will be an incentive for me to lose weight before the winter so it can hang looser on me. It's an uni-sex style.  In fact, I'll post some pictures  soon. 

Once again,  thank you for the responses.  

 

Edited April 23, 2020 by dongleboy

[Funinfox]

Maybe it might be a good idea to broach this with your wife in several stages rather than in one go.

The first stage would be to say to your wife that you have seen several men wearing mink coats and that you thought it was a great look. If her response were positive you could move on to the next phase otherwise if her reaction were neutralish you would have to try and modify her opinions by maybe showing photos of men looking good in mink coats. 

The second stage would be to say that you believe that you too would therefore look good in a mink coat. Then, if her reaction was positive you would move on or if not you  would know you had to work on this stage first.

The third stage would be the final one in which you straight up confess that you have bought a mink coat and are going to wear it. 

Hopefully this method will make it easier for your wife to accept and easier for you to tell her because you would be reassured by her positive reactions in stage one and two that her reaction to the final stage would probably not be awefully bad!

In regards to men wearing fur in the UK I have some small experience. I work in London and two years ago I bought a parka fully lined with fox and with a hood which is lined with fox. I wore it a lot on the tube and had no problems. I even wore it to work and had many positive reactions.

I hope my thoughts helped and good luck for the big reveal 🙂 !

[minkme]

Converting a mink coat in to a blanket is very expensive.  That's great that you wife was willing to do that and that you can both enjoy the feel of mink each night.  It must have been quite a large mink to make it into a blanket?

You said your new mink is a uni-sex coat?  Do you think you can present it as a coat for your wife, then say it looks like a uni-sex and say to your wife, that you may wear it since its uni-sex?  

[WinnipegFur]

I used to feel the old what are people gonna say if I come walking in wearing a full length raccoon.. in all honesty no one has ever said a thing.. Ive gone into large department stores, drug stores.. no one cares.. I am in Canada where it was -30 so maybe its different, but its rare to see a fur coat anymore even at those crazy temperatures...

[fursince63]

23 hours ago, WinnipegFur said:

I used to feel the old what are people gonna say if I come walking in wearing a full length raccoon.. in all honesty no one has ever said a thing.. Ive gone into large department stores, drug stores.. no one cares.. I am in Canada where it was -30 so maybe its different, but its rare to see a fur coat anymore even at those crazy temperatures...

I find it sad that fur coats are rarely seen in Canada. When I was young I remember a heart pounding thrill when we visited Canada! Furs, Furs Fabulous Furs! Oh Well.

[dongleboy]

Once again, many thanks indeed for the responses.  I've started wearing it around the house when my wife is out just to get used to it. It fits beautifully and will fit even better in the autumn once my healthy eating and exercise regimen kicks in.  It is absolutely gorgeous.  Eventually, I'll get it cleaned and a member here who has seen the photos below has suggested I get the sleeves altered.  That could be expensive but I'll see what my furrier suggests.  My problem with furs is finding something that fits me over the shoulder but this is excellent.

 

Here are are some photos...

[JmmyMc1311]

Hi Dongleboy, just wanted to say that coat is gorgeous and if I owned it, I'd have it constantly on.... I'd even wear it to Tesco!

I'm trying to build my fur collection and can only dream of having a coat like yours. 

Jimmy in UK

 

 

[dongleboy]

Hi Jimmy. How are you doing?  I'm in Edinburgh so I do see a bit of 'tourist' fur around although, to be honest, not much the last five or so years since our winters are getting wetter rather than colder.  Do you see much in London?  I've been lucky enough to see a few top quality garments on our infrequent visits to the capital. 

 

Best,

 

Robert

[blakeymikey]

I am in bristol and im seeing alot of men wearing fur altho mostly faux fur and i wear mine all the time and have had no problems and whilst in tesco a women wearing her fur said that i rocked in fur which was nice and said her son wore fur as well. Also again at tesco i was getting out of my car wearing my fur jacket when another man was getting into his whilst wearing fur. Its getting easier especailly as i have seen adverts on billboards in bus stations with men wearing fur jackets so its getting there and more and more fashion houses making fur for men. 

[paul2809]

Gorgeous mink btw.. be honest with your wife about your love of fur... sounds like the both you love furs... go out with her in furs on a date.... there's nothing wrong with that at all... maybe she will appreciate it .. dont be afraid to wear your furs out..

Any one doesn't like it.. thats tough... 

If they compliment you, Be proud ..

.

[coastfur]

Hey dongleboy am up in Dundee.

[furbull]

Hi Dongleboy

I’m in South Wales.

My wife’s not really into fur but she will wear a fur coat for me from time to time. I have a real fur fetish (not purely sexual) and love the feeling of comfort and power that wearing a fur brings.

Formerly, I have been very reticent about wearing furs in public but, practice makes perfect, as they say. I have a beautiful mink fur gilet that I wore everywhere over the winter, a full length silver fox that is my winter dressing gown, a full length mink that I started to wear for an evening walk and just extended the hours to daytime, and a vintage coyote jacket that is rugged, rough and ready. I have had the occasional sideways glance but never an adverse comment. 
 

Just a suggestion, do you have a racecourse nearby to where you live? If there is anywhere in public where a man wearing fur should feel completely comfortable, it’s at a race meeting! Your mink looks gorgeous and you will feel amazing wearing it in public. 
 

Take care,

Fur Bull 

[coastfur]

Hey guys in UK, if you want to chat some more I am on Skype where my name is also Coastfur. Have a fur collection and would love to chat to like minded people.

[dongleboy]

Hi Fur Bull.

Many thanks indeed for your post and excellent advice.  We do have a race course nearby although, inevitably, it's closed for the foreseeable future.  However, I agree it would be a great environment for a 'first exposure!'

I'd intended to wear it initially to classical concerts although goodness knows how long it'll be until that particular avenue is opened up.  It's not looking very hopeful at the moment. 

Oddly enough, my parents bought me a sheepskin coat for my 18th birthday and I REALLY struggled with self consciousness initially, until, like you, I would wear it at night when there would be no one around until I got used to it.  I soon realised that either no one cared or I'd receive compliments. 

Thanks again,

DB

[dongleboy]

Well, a quick update.

It's taken me a long time to find the courage to tell my wife about my intentions, delayed somewhat by the starting of a new job. Anyway, I've told her and she's been incredibly supportive and thinks it's a terrific idea!  (Most importantly, she didn't laugh!!)

So the coat is now in the possession of our local furriers where it'll be cleaned and have a new lining attached as well as fasteners inserted to make it appropriate for a man's way of closing.   He was most impressed with it and agreed I'd got a bargain. His eyebrows did go up a little bit when I told him of my plans for said coat but he quickly regained his composure.  

I really can't wait for the colder weather to arrive now!  

[Worker 11811]

What kind of place do you work?

Not specifics.  Is it an office, retail, a workshop, construction, an industrial environment?

What kind of people are there?  Are there are a lot of SJW's versus blue collar workers?

If it's a factory, I wouldn't even dream of it but, if it's an office and there aren't a lot of wacky, progressive, social justice warriors working there, I wouldn't have a problem at all.

As a matter of fact, even if there were a couple of SJW's, I'd wear a fur just to pi$$ them off!  😉

[dongleboy]

I work in a hospital and I don't have a locker so wearing it to work would be a total non starter. 😉

[Worker 11811]

No.  Fur in a hospital would be a bad idea from a hygienic perspective, both coming and going.  Wouldn’t it?

[ew19975]

Work as an aircraft mechanic (commercial-regional flights), and can say that that environment is definitely a non-starter. A hat or small scarf/neck wrap might get past the uniform requirements, but the chance of getting a not fur-friendly fluid or grease on it is way to high (even for faux...).