Strange, toxic community. Anybody else?

[Danny95]

I'm writing this, kind of to vent but also to see how many others have dealt with this.

There aren't too many websites where we all post, and I've dipped my feet into the waters of them all- and in every, single forum there's a few dozen absolute weirdos that always end up chasing me away. I've given up on trying to meet people with this kink, a lot of the decision came because of this subsection. It's not worth trudging through the harassment any more. Nobody is interested in enjoying the experience, everyone just wants nudes to save. 

This group of people isn't everybody that I've talked to, and i sincerely miss some of the connections I've made with other guys- but between the terminally shy, underage, computer-illiterate, or just plain WEIRD people I've run across they are the first ones to drool over anything you post. I don't want to log into insta and see a random old man penis with no profile pic and no posts. And of course they're either blank profiles, or pictures re-uploaded from google images or pics of other men that they screenshot and post for themselves. God forbid you post a face shot, because that's pretty much an immediate bet you're about to be recorded and stored on some lonely virgins hard drive to jack off to forever. I'm gay, I can't imagine what the women deal with around here, you have my deep sympathy because I imagine you get it worse than I do. (did). Fuck, I even see it on here. Not directed at me, but I still see it. Everyone is inherently distrustworthy of new contacts because they don't know if you're a real person, or one of these bizarre people. 

I get it, it's a niche fetish, but the fact that you post one picture, one selfie, anything- even SFW- a horde of downright bizarre people are suddenly in the DM's with eggplant emojis, unsolicited dick pics, asking to "worship" me or me to worship in some dom/sub dynamic, asking me to ""donate"" furs to them, or even a few posts below asking to join her onlyfans to sap money from these sad people. I get this isn't like a dating scene, but some common respect for one another goes a long way. I can understand why our community continues to fragment, but while these people are so obsessed with new content and driven by their throbbing cock I don't see it getting any better. There were some beautiful men that developed a real connection with that I lost contact with since they just stopped posting because of these people. 

if you made it this far thanks for reading. I started to ramble a bit.

I guess I'm just reaching out to hear from other sane people for some reassurance that you're still out there and if this is unacceptable to you, or I'm just being a bitch. 

[FullLengthFox]

I can understand that experiences like these can make you reluctant to interact with other people via social communities. However I like to think the Fur Den is a little different, but I may be wrong. In any case, since anyone has internet access nowadays, there is always a chance of bad experiences. It's more or less inherent to the internet: it's anonymous, so some people think they can post whatever they want, without wondering or caring if the recipient would find it pleasurable to receive their postings. 

In any case I hope you feel free to post here. 

[Guest]

Preach brother

[Guest tonias]

19 hours ago, Danny95 said:

I'm writing this, kind of to vent but also to see how many others have dealt with this.

There aren't too many websites where we all post, and I've dipped my feet into the waters of them all- and in every, single forum there's a few dozen absolute weirdos that always end up chasing me away. I've given up on trying to meet people with this kink, a lot of the decision came because of this subsection. It's not worth trudging through the harassment any more. Nobody is interested in enjoying the experience, everyone just wants nudes to save. 

This group of people isn't everybody that I've talked to, and i sincerely miss some of the connections I've made with other guys- but between the terminally shy, underage, computer-illiterate, or just plain WEIRD people I've run across they are the first ones to drool over anything you post. I don't want to log into insta and see a random old man penis with no profile pic and no posts. And of course they're either blank profiles, or pictures re-uploaded from google images or pics of other men that they screenshot and post for themselves. God forbid you post a face shot, because that's pretty much an immediate bet you're about to be recorded and stored on some lonely virgins hard drive to jack off to forever. I'm gay, I can't imagine what the women deal with around here, you have my deep sympathy because I imagine you get it worse than I do. (did). Fuck, I even see it on here. Not directed at me, but I still see it. Everyone is inherently distrustworthy of new contacts because they don't know if you're a real person, or one of these bizarre people. 

I get it, it's a niche fetish, but the fact that you post one picture, one selfie, anything- even SFW- a horde of downright bizarre people are suddenly in the DM's with eggplant emojis, unsolicited dick pics, asking to "worship" me or me to worship in some dom/sub dynamic, asking me to ""donate"" furs to them, or even a few posts below asking to join her onlyfans to sap money from these sad people. I get this isn't like a dating scene, but some common respect for one another goes a long way. I can understand why our community continues to fragment, but while these people are so obsessed with new content and driven by their throbbing cock I don't see it getting any better. There were some beautiful men that developed a real connection with that I lost contact with since they just stopped posting because of these people. 

if you made it this far thanks for reading. I started to ramble a bit.

I guess I'm just reaching out to hear from other sane people for some reassurance that you're still out there and if this is unacceptable to you, or I'm just being a bitch. 

I'm sorry you've had this experience. You are far from alone here, and your feelings about the overall community are valid. It is the very reason so few women post here and the ones who do are advertising a paid following, before they are chased off the platform by our oversaturated, harassment-prone community. Of course I'm not speaking about every single member, but it's a loud enough crowd that it's become representative of the whole.

@FullLengthFox I know you mean well, but the Den is not different from the places Danny95 is describing. Far from it. It is currently the epicenter of such activity. I have enough unsolicited PMs to prove it, as I'm sure do most users. I agree with you about what feeds into this mentality from others: the anonymous, consequence-free behavior the internet encourages. Further, from a forum site that has zero moderation whatsoever.

Danny95, I'm glad you found the courage to vent your concerns; they were well worth reading and pointed to a growing, self-perpetuating problem in the community.

[furlover200]

It is a bummer. I've had more success finding enthusiastic non fetishists than other fur fetishists. I've found other fetishists have a very specific vision for what they want without regard for others. 

Which Is too bad

[a_man_of_many_foxes]

Would have to agree. I really don’t interact a lot with other fetishists just based on what I see on forums and social media. I love wearing fur and would consider myself such, but people can be so nasty on the internet. There are plenty of normal fetishists out there, just usually not the ones posting imo. 

[paul2809]

ive been bashed by others and I simply dont care what those people think...

just bc I asked that question a while  back about Beautiful Julie SkyHighs passing......,

that was just outlandish at what was said to me.....

I am who I am and my love of fur changes for no one........ specially my faux furs...

[ozfurlova]

Have to 100% agree with @Danny95, this place isn't what it used to be and it's a shame to see the slow dissolution from the haven or oasis it used to be to the seemingly unrelenting road to cesspool we appear to be on at the moment. Granted there is going to be a large majority who don't recall what here used to be like (when we amazingly would have quite the number of female members too before they were all eventually run out of town by morons who couldn't control themselves) but the gradual decline of behaviour where disrespect has become the come rather than the rare exception, coupled with the ballsy bravado some display here due totally to the anonymity of being behind a screen, is why we find ourselves where we are today.

Sure, people will think this is the norm behaviour because they've never known or seen anything else here but it's a shame the "golden" days of these forums seems long past now 😞

Edited February 25, 2023 by ozfurlova

[Panther10]

I’ve had more than my fair share of these kinds of experiences. And I’m not gay and I only advertise furs because I work in the industry and I have products to sell. The unsolicited DMs that are clearly NSFW or even if I just get greeted with a simple “Hey” just get an outright ban. I’ve even went as far as setting my Facebook and Instagram profiles to private. Some people have no sense of decorum or boundaries online and it’s disgusting 

[FurLoverMolly]

I just think nowadays that the fur community in general is overrun by mainly creeps, from what ive found, but its also dying out in my opinion. It seems like theres just not much activity or growth and so its hard because its not like bdsm, whereas its such a well known and accepted thing that they are having whole conversations to celebrate it, we just dont have that same level of publicity, and even if we did i dont know how it would be received. although fur is such a harmless, nonviolent fetish its still misunderstood which blows my mind

Sorry for the mini rant, all i meant to say was that i feel like our community is dying. 

Much love to all of us that are still here thought!

[Panther10]

3 hours ago, FurLoverMolly said:

I just think nowadays that the fur community in general is overrun by mainly creeps, from what ive found, but its also dying out in my opinion. It seems like theres just not much activity or growth and so its hard because its not like bdsm, whereas its such a well known and accepted thing that they are having whole conversations to celebrate it, we just dont have that same level of publicity, and even if we did i dont know how it would be received. although fur is such a harmless, nonviolent fetish its still misunderstood which blows my mind

Sorry for the mini rant, all i meant to say was that i feel like our community is dying. 

Much love to all of us that are still here thought!

I think that may stem from the fact that for some of the members in our community, you associate fur with cruella de’vill or some other fictional character who was adorned in furs and was a little on the sadistic side. So if those members finally meet someone who has a fur, or can finally get a fur coat themselves, they feel it’s an excuse to finally act out on their obsessions. And it’s not really the fur that is responsible for the “high” they’re trying to achieve, it’s the fetish for cruelty and sadism. The fur coat itself is just a means to an end. Combined with the fact that the internet is a haven for unsolicited bullying, NSFW content and a place where people can act out their aggression, (even if it gives them that dopamine boost, heaven help them) what you are left with is a breeding ground for the most toxic elements of our community that have run rampant with no checks and balances. And what is worse is that more elements of the fur community from furriers to other hobbyists don’t clamp down on this behavior. Furriers don’t care as long as they can sell coats and make a quick buck, and  most hobbyists are too timid to stick their neck out. Hell when it comes to places like instagram, even the casual hobbyist knows that sex sells and they’ll attract any kind of attention because they’re content creators and they want a large following. But it’s honestly not a good look for the rest of us. It promotes fur as a promising alternative to other textiles and it helps the industry and hobby thrive, but it attracts too much of the wrong kind of attention. 

[FurLover97]

I see myself in your testimony, I happened both on Reddit and on Kik to come in contact with people very directly who were there for their dick. For me it was a bit annoying. But on Instagram there are much more healthy communities than you think since some people are passionate about fur as a simple luxury garment to wear and don't use it for its erotic side. Just be respectful, polite and kind and understand what the person in front of us wants, in order not to ruin his experience on these chats.

[LeComte]

Although I didn't received any dick pics or harassment yet, I understand you all 100%.

I remind you that this place is free of moderation at the moment. This is a serious issue in this regard, and without moderation I don't see any proper solution here. If someone is willing to set up an alternative, I volunteer as a moderator.

[Guest]

At the risk of coming off a bit opportunistic; I run a private discord server for fur lovers who want to get away from all the issues people are describing here. If anybody is interesting feel free to shoot me a PM.

[FurLoverMolly]

On 2/26/2023 at 7:55 PM, SlyRoxy said:

At the risk of coming off a bit opportunistic; I run a private discord server for fur lovers who want to get away from all the issues people are describing here. If anybody is interesting feel free to shoot me a PM.

Id love to join, definitely dm me the info!!

[Shy_Fur_Guy]

I actually had to drop my Instagram account because of someone on here. They kept asking to do cam sessions and apparently didn't understand that I wanted no part of it. 

Edited March 1, 2023 by Shy_Fur_Guy
typo

[Panther10]

5 hours ago, Shy_Fur_Guy said:

I actually had to drop my Instagram account because of someone on here. They kept asking to do cam sessions and apparently didn't understand that I wanted no part of it. 

You can usually block people like that on Instagram. There’s even a feature that allows you to not only block that person’s account, but any other account that they might create. You shouldn’t have your Instagram experience ruined just because someone harassed. You just kick them out and move on

[Panther10]

So I just had another very inappropriate comment sent to me in my PMs. I’m not going to name names but his intentions were clearly sexual and I immediately told him off and warned him not to engage with me again or I will report him. I’m sure he found me through my post in the fur mall where I was trying to advertise the items I was trying to sell since I’m strapped for cash. I hope he’s not so forward with other members because I’m tired of coming into this forum and feeling disrespected and disgusted when I leave. 

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Panther10 said:

So I just had another very inappropriate comment sent to me in my PMs. I’m not going to name names but his intentions were clearly sexual and I immediately told him off and warned him not to engage with me again or I will report him. I’m sure he found me through my post in the fur mall where I was trying to advertise the items I was trying to sell since I’m strapped for cash. I hope he’s not so forward with other members because I’m tired of coming into this forum and feeling disrespected and disgusted when I leave. 

In other words you visited the online fur community on a day ending in y.

[Panther10]

2 minutes ago, SlyRoxy said:

In other words you visited the online fur community on a day ending in y.

I don’t get these kinds of interactions on here all that frequently. Maybe one occasion every other month or so. Compare that to Instagram where I have to deal with these kind of interactions every time I list some furs for sale and it’s exhausting. I spend more time blocking people or telling them off because they were overtly sexual and assumed I had a fur fetish, than I do interacting with customers who intend to buy something. But even though I’m not around here very much, it’s sad that just about every occurrence of me looking in has to end up with me telling someone off because of their behavior. You’d think that civility died in here or something. 

[furmad]

The den......  well i hardly come here as there is nothing to come for  any more There are some great people here that are respectful . there are others that could learn some manners .  

[blowmybagpipes2]

On 2/26/2023 at 8:55 PM, SlyRoxy said:

At the risk of coming off a bit opportunistic; I run a private discord server for fur lovers who want to get away from all the issues people are describing here. If anybody is interesting feel free to shoot me a PM.

I mean, discord is by far the worst imo. Most toxic place I’ve found online, mostly the “Fur Lovers” server. It’s just full of trolls and clowns who bully people when they get bored of doing the same thing on COD. 

[Guest]

5 hours ago, blowmybagpipes2 said:

I mean, discord is by far the worst imo. Most toxic place I’ve found online, mostly the “Fur Lovers” server. It’s just full of trolls and clowns who bully people when they get bored of doing the same thing on COD. 

Isn't it fortunate then that not every server is like Fur Lovers.

[blowmybagpipes2]

3 hours ago, SlyRoxy said:

Isn't it fortunate then that not every server is like Fur Lovers.

Yes that's quite fortuitous, though it worries me sometimes that such bad actors will bleed over into adjacent servers.

[blowmybagpipes2]

On 2/24/2023 at 9:32 PM, paul2809 said:

ive been bashed by others and I simply dont care what those people think...

just bc I asked that question a while  back about Beautiful Julie SkyHighs passing......,

that was just outlandish at what was said to me.....

I am who I am and my love of fur changes for no one........ specially my faux furs...

Same exact thing happened to me on the "Fur Lovers" discord server. It's full of the same type of scumbags.